Back again :P...Some thoughts and The demon inside....

Wow, well its been quite some time since I've posted anything on here. Writers block is a bitch at times! But alas we all suffer from it sometimes. So what have I been up to in my absence? Honestly not that much. Work and sleep and trying to keep to my new exercise and healthy eating regime have been taking up most of my time. My exam results will be out soon and I know I've failed a couple of the exams I took, they were very hard and to be honest I don't love what I'm doing and it makes it ten times harder. On the plus side things are going well with the guy I'm seeing but its complicated, extremely complicated but I'll save that story for later. 

I've been reading some romance novels lately and I am disappointed. Writers whom started out amazing have now begun to drift into the same old thing different characters. One in particular who I have adored for years has really made me wonder at her writing talent. I read two of her books in about four days and the similarities between them were identical except for the names of the characters. The guy is a rake, a rouge, one man that all the ladies would like between their legs but would be too scandalous to marry. The Lady, gently bred, but has of late realised that her families fortune has diminished and is in need of a rich husband and so goes out looking for him. Alas they both meet one another and the girl treats him with distaste as the guy follows her about like a love sick puppy (where the hell has the rake gone?). Finally the girl realises her absolute, irrevocable love for him and thus she submits body and soul and they say they love one another after three days of meeting? Holy crap! If that happened me I think I would run a mile and be like what the fuck! You must be crazy if you love me after just a few days. So anyway they end up in a tryst. He performs oral sex on her, then breaks her maiden head which by the way is not inches up your vagina but is obviously at the entrance. Where the hell did this whole thing come from? Romance novels making up their own take on the human anatomy. She crys out, tears glistening on her eyes then after two minutes tells him to just take her. He does and they both finish together their first time. I'm sorry but that takes a lot of practice and is sometimes not even possible, but fine its romantic, whatever. They then get married and have children. But of course there is also the back story which is always the same and which drags the man away from the woman and threatens to tear them apart. Been there done that bought the romance novel! Well I think historical romance could do with a little kick in the butt to get them interesting again. 

So enough of my little rant! I think i owe all of you a little something so here it is! I also promise an update on a wolves tale, I am still unsure as to where I would like to take it at the moment but I'm thinking. 

The Demon inside 

  

I wait for you in a fathomless ibis,

your silent screams my energy,

The feel of your terror a wondering bliss,

Your voice to me like a singing clergy,

As my dark tendrils touch you like a lingering kiss.

I am your sole and secret friend,

The only one you can truly and lovingly trust,

You love me as much as you hate me as I bend,

As I twist and hunger like a lover with my lust,

I love you my wonderful end.

You remember as you look in the dark pit of the mirror,

Before you, you see that shining in your eyes,

That tells you I am with you, the sharer,

The demon inside, who wants you to die,

Yes thats right, I whisper as you understand, let loose the terror.

The knife glints, reflecting the only light from the moon,

You try to fight but it makes me stronger,

The fear making the end come soon,

Yes do it, I can't take it much longer,

Your life will ebb away just like the last remains of June. 

You gasp, then look down,

The knife has clattered to the floor,

The blood on your hand bright on your gown,

mmmm...It felt so good, I need more,

The only sound you hear the laughing of a clown.

Yes my love I know your fear,

Thats it let the darkness take you,

I drink the last drops of your life as my outline becomes clear,

I leave you now, whole, your body in two,

Your eyes close leaving only a small silver tear. 

A little bit morbid but I read recently of demons who take over a persons body, convincing them to kill themselves. This is what my strange overactive mind came up with :P. It basically shows turmoil within a person, but is it really a demon inside or is it simply the anger inside wanting to be out? Did she die or was she reborn? What pushed her to the darkness she let overcome her? A few small questions for you to think about :P

Happy Terrifying Thursday! 

Freya xx